Who wore it better?

Turns out, if you make desperate pleas for advice on the internet, the internet is happy to oblige. 

When I posted my first few attempts at dressing better, I didn't realize that the first thing everyone would notice was that, yes, I was wearing my uber-comfy nursing bra. Yes, I'd been wearing it for about 14 months straight. And no, it's not terribly supportive. Thanks for noticing, everyone! So after the third or fourth person mentioned it, I decided to wean my baby for the sole purpose of wearing my better, more supportive bras. So when William grows up and becomes a delinquent, I blame the internet.

Nah, just kidding. He is 15 months and I was planning on weaning him anyway. 

This week, I found myself wearing this same outfit from the very beginning of my blog, and I realized I've actually learned a few things since starting this adventure. 

See if you can spot the differences.
And since you're all noticing, yes, I'm wearing a better bra. Moving on!

Like Sarah said, "Accessories take up space!" They also transform a t-shirt into a background canvas instead of trying to be the (super plain, boring) centerpiece.
My necklace is one I've had for a couple years now, and it's literally the only necklace I've ever bought myself. And man, do I have great taste! Coincidentally, I bought it from Sarah's jewelry shop. The beads are made from paper by women in Uganda. They are some seriously talented and resourceful women, because if I rolled up paper and tried to make them into beads. no one would be lining up to buy any of those necklaces. But I love the bright colors and the design. It's my style-- which is something I didn't know I had.
The beads get tangled all the time, which is annoying, but gives me something to do during long talks at church-- while I listen, of course!

Shoes. Who knew?!

My other friend, Sarah, gave me the tip of "three things makes an outfit." I've always been really good at this, since I never leave the house without at least a shirt, shorts, and shoes. But I guess accessories could be three MORE things. Thanks for the great advice, Sarah!

My sister, Sarah, (Seriously, 1980s, the future called. Try naming your kids something besides Sarah, Sarah, and Sarah!) actually has nothing to do with this post. But she joined me on my 4th of July post. She's so much cooler than me! She probably already knew you're supposed to wear statement jewelry and shoes. But she doesn't have a Kindle case as fancy as mine!

Maybe it's time to update the old jewelry box?

It would be an understatement to say I let my jewelry box collect dust. Because this is Brazil, and we grow mold here.

The entire back of my jewelry box grew a bumper crop of mold this summer, which I'm assuming wouldn't have happened if I had opened the cupboard once in a while. But I keep it in with my maternity clothes (hello, I'm not pregnant) and my sweaters (ahem, BRAZIL!), and there's just no reason for me to go in there.

Before we moved here, my jewelry box sat unopened in our house and in storage for about 18 months.

So it's safe to say I'm not really a jewelry girl.

And yet, here's a picture of my jewelry box anyway!

I have some nice things. My grandma gave me a little butterfly pendant for my 8th birthday. It has a diamond on it, and if you really squint, you can see it sparkling there somewhere. Still have that. My sister gave me some wooden beads from her 8th grade class trip to DC. Still have those. My mother-in-law gave me some VERY nice things that I could probably wear if I had something to go with them. Of course I still have those.

But when Sarah talked about "holes in her wardrobe," my wardrobe is like Swiss cheese, but with more holes than cheese-- if that's even possible.

I decided to try and fill some of the holes in my jewelry collection. When Sarah said that World Market has some great accessories, I don't know about you, but I headed over to check it out.

I've been to a World Market store before. It has a ton of cool stuff from all over the world (like it's a market... from the whole world). I didn't see any jewelry. That's the problem selling jewelry in a furniture store. Maybe I should have checked under the couch cushions.

But going to their website, I could find it immediately. All you have to know is how to spell "jewelry," which I obviously do. (That was a joke for my British friends. Enjoy.)

I found some pieces I will definitely add to my jewelry box, just as soon as I get the mold cleaned off:

This would be a MUCH nicer necklace than the plastic atrocity I bought last month.
Real lapis instead of plastic. Imagine that!

I got a great gold and turquoise necklace in my Stitch Fix last month. My options to wear with it? Nothing. But these would look great:

Love these tiny leaf filigree earrings.
No, they're not ACTUALLY made from leaves, but for $4.99, I don't really care.
They look like it from here.

And speaking of jewellery that looks like leaves:

Oooh! I could wear this and pretend to be Arwen.
I should ask for a long, flowy elven maiden dress in my next Stitch Fix!

While I was looking around at World Market, I found this code to share with you all. If you click on it and use the code they give you, you get $10 off your order of $50. Not too shabby! And it gives me store credit for shamelessly promoting their website.

And you can all pretend to be surprised with me if I get these for my birthday next month.

Believe it or not, I know people who dress well

In 2011, we were posted to Shenyang, China, and Kevin was invited to an event at a 5-star hotel in town. It was on the night of our anniversary, and with our second baby almost three months old, we needed a night out!

I've never been someone who looks forward to an event like this and thinks, "Wow, what a fun occasion to get all dolled up!" In fact, I have never used the phrase, "get all dolled up," in real life. Instead, this is an event that causes panic and a feeling of being under-prepared, under-dressed, and outclassed. I rummaged and rummaged through my closet and found myself asking, "Well, what T-shirt would look nice with this?" And the brick wall I kept hitting kept telling me, "None of them!"

We lived upstairs from a huge shopping mall, which included H&M and Zara, as well as hundreds of Chinese stores for Chinese-sized women. I ran downstairs (well, I walked to the elevator) and found a black, lacy dress suitable for the occasion. It took me another long while to find some shoes. When you wear a size 8.5 in the USA, China thinks you're a Sasquatch.

I eventually found some size 8's that I could squeeze into, so I minced off to the ball like Cinderella's (dolled up) stepsister.

Lace dress and black leggings.
Just pretend I'm still wearing my shoes.

It was a step in the right direction, but after I saw the pictures we took, I realized that the outfit had looked a lot more glamorous in my head. Something was missing, or maybe a lot of somethings, and I had no idea what do about it-- even living upstairs from H&M! It seems like some people can just walk into a store and find some fantastic combinations and make some great outfits. But I had no idea where to start. Was there a class, or some kind of nerd-extracting therapy I could take?

So in a desperate plea for help, I emailed a couple friends who are fantastically talented at dressing well and getting dolled up-- and somehow still friends with me. I asked them what I should buy, how I should shop, and what they would do in my situation.

And being not only beautiful and glamorous, but also incredibly kind, they both gave me some really good advice.

"Look, tell her destiny has brought you together.
Tell her that she's the most beautiful girl you have ever seen.
Girls like that stuff. What, what are you doing, George?"
"I'm writing this down. This is good stuff."

I took some notes and made a shopping list and a plan, then headed down to H&M. This is one of the outfits I bought and wore on Christmas:

Sparkly sweater, pencil skirt, a purple halter top, matching earrings

It's not going to win any fashion awards, but I was really happy to have chosen something out of my usual comfort zone.

And I am very happy to STILL have these chique friends. In some upcoming posts, and hopefully on a regular basis in the future, I'll be interviewing some of my chique friends and sharing their wisdom on this blog. I have learned so much from them, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who could benefit from their perspectives!

For my first installment, coming later this week, I'll be interviewing my friend, Sarah. She is one of the original girls I emailed for help back in 2011, and I'm excited to have her as my very first guest-poster on my blog!

Stay tuned!

In no way should this post be taken as a movie recommendation

Back in 2011 there was this cute new Jennifer Aniston rom-com in the theaters, and I went to see it with a group of ladies from church. It was a diverse group, spanning the generations, including a very proper woman, probably in her mid-seventies at the time-- the go-to woman to teach classes on etiquette and manners and that sort of thing.

Did you see "Just Go with It"? It was terrible! It was your typical Adam Sandler fare, and while it was also technically a cute Jennifer Aniston rom-com, it's certainly not one you'd invite someone's straight-laced grandmother to! Oh, I cringe when I watch Adam Sandler movies anyway, but it was doubly awkward this time around.

Maybe that's why I remember it so clearly.


That look on Jennifer Aniston's face? Pretty much how I felt while I watched it.

But there was one part that actually made me think. Rare for an Adam Sandler movie, I know.

It wasn't terribly DEEP thinking, just to be clear.

In the beginning of "Just Go with It," when Adam Sandler is convincing his receptionist to pretend to be his wife, they have a conversation that goes basically like this:

(Walking through a fancy mall)
A: Will you please just look at some clothes?
J: Look at that! I don't wear that! I have clothes, by the way.
A: Yeah, the best clothes that Old Navy sells.

And then she goes on a Rodeo Drive shopping spree, transforming from this:

Old Navy's best

To this:

Muito chique!

There are a lot of lessons that can be learned from this. Lots of deep thoughts to be had.
Mine was this:
Old Navy isn't high fashion?!?

I'd never actually thought about it before. Stores are stores, aren't they? I mean, Old Navy sells dresses and belts and stuff. Isn't that enough to be chique?

Now, you can't be too careful on the internet.

Dear Old Navy,
I have no intention to smear you as some non-chique clothing store. I'm just repeating what Adam Sandler said. (Is that ever a legitimate excuse?!)  To be fair, all my favorite, most comfortable maternity clothes came from your store. (Well, the ones that didn't come from H&M. Or Target.) When I need more jeans and t-shirts, or next time I'm in 8th grade, I'll be back!

But for now I'm moving on, taking my fashion advice from Adam Sandler.

Happy Independence Day, America! And happy 4th of July to the rest of the world!

If you're anything like me, I'm sure that your thoughts on waking up today were something like this:

"It's the 4th of July! Apple pie and BBQ beans, baby!"

"What is America going to be offended about today?"

and of course,

"How is Chelsea going to wow us with her sartorial elegance on this fantastic 239th birthday of America?"

Well, thanks for asking!

The 4th of July is the day for wearing red, white, and/or blue. I've always been really good at dressing up for the holiday-- as long as your only criteria are red, white, and/or blue.

2009-- a 9-month pregnant selfie- blue maternity dress

2010- Red AND blue, because jeans are inherently patriotic!

2012- Look at this fantastic outfit: red, white, and blue; patriotic stripes; way cute hat!!
I don't remember at what age I realized my little sister was cooler than me...
Me: Blue, blue, and pink.

2013- My friend bought this dress for me in China on taobao.com.
She made me buy one because she was buying a bunch and they were cheaper than even buying the material to make them--
which is always a good reason, right?
Plus: red, white, and blue in a fireworks design. It's like they made it just for me. Thanks, China!

2014- The rest of my family looked super cute.
But it's hard to dress the kids all cute and then still care enough to dress myself--
especially before I decided to care.

A few weeks ago I shook off that taobao dress and wore it with a belt. It wasn't an amazing outfit or anything, but it got me thinking. I tend to consider a dress as a complete unit, but when I see outfits on Pinterest or wherever, there are always layers. Like cakes. Or onions. Or ogres. So I decided to wear the taobao dress as a background layer for a complete outfit on top for the 4th of July this year.

This is history in the making, folks. Never before have I planned ahead what I would wear to a party-- and especially not three weeks in advance! This is revolutionary!

Not like 1776 Revolutionary... just... new.

I bought a chambray shirt (which, when I last wore one in 1993, was just called a denim shirt) and a chunky blue necklace. I figured I'd tie the shirt at my waist and have the necklace as a statement piece. 

Now, I'm not the world's best shopper, whether online or in person, and when I got that necklace in the mail, I realized the only time I'd be able to wear it was if I was Pharaoh of a cheap plastic version of Egypt.

When I asked him, even Kevin, who doesn't usually have strong opinions about what I wear, told me, "You can wear a necklace, but you can't wear THAT necklace."

So here you have it. I have another necklace-- quite understated, especially in comparison-- and I look like I put thought into my clothes!

2015: Wearing a handbag AND a handbag

Action shot

So happy 4th of July, everyone! I hope you have a great celebration wherever you are!
And if anyone's doing a Moses play in Sunday School, come talk to me.

Five tips for better photos-- even without a selfie stick!

Once upon a time before I had kids and when free time grew on trees, I spent too many hours of mine watching reality TV's low point: "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." You got to know Paris Hilton as a person who shops, models, and makes Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. She frown-smiled and occasionally pretty-cried when her "besties" were kicked off the show. And she judged them on everything vital in a friendship: how they posed on the catwalk, in a photo shoot, and even on the red carpet.

It was almost as good as it sounds. 

So when I was searching the internet on how to pose for photographs, I was so excited to see Paris Hilton as one of the examples of how you should pose! I was like, "Yes!! I can finally try to be her new bestie!!"

Or something like that.

Some of the websites teaching you how to pose are pretty good. They say, "Put your arms or hands like this," and then you see how it improves their photos. Other websites leave you wondering where the "after" pictures are. 

So last week's post was my "before." 

And these next pictures aren't "after" pictures. They're a step in the right direction and proof that I would never make it as Paris Hilton's BFF. But for my blog's sake, I'm going to keep trying.

Tip #1: Look up at the camera. Don't let someone take a picture from below you.

In that case, I need to fire my photographer. Or give her a raise! 

We tried with the photographer standing on a chair this time.

Tip #2: When you put your hands down by your sides, your arms squish to their very widest, giving proof the illusion of arm flab.

My right arm is doing its thing, but my left arm should be off to the side instead of behind me. 
I'm not sure that popping one knee is doing me any favors in a maxi skirt.

Tip #3: If you're not sure what to do with your hands, you can always carry a handbag or a clutch.

Or in my case...

Wow, I look skinny carrying my handbag!

Tip #4: I didn't read this on any website, but props are fun.

Pizza! Pizza!

Tip #5: Don't forget your middle child.

She's not my photographer or my handbag, but she's a sweetheart.

Nerdy blog business

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/14232601/?claim=4chv7xxqmmd">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Pay no attention to the gobbledygook at the top of this page. I'm just trying to attach my blog to my account at www.bloglovin.com. I used to use google reader, but they cancelled that quite a while ago. Since then I've been using bloglovin, and I like it.

Also, since we're talking computers and blogs and technicalities, I'd just like to point out that I changed my blog domain name! All by myself*!! It was hard and kind of confusing. I bought the domain name, then tried once to change the website address through blogger.... but it didn't work. I gave up, asked my brother for help, and then stomped around my house for a while. He ignored my message and kept "working" or whatever it is he does at work, and I was left to my own devices. Thankfully, a quick search of the FAQs gave me a tutorial showing me exactly what to do. And I did it. And I feel awesome!


*While this blog is a record of my attempt to become cool, I'll settle for just looking cool and dressing well. Because I can't tell you how proud I was of my nerdiest achievement ever!

Not quite ready for my modeling career

Before I post anything let's just remember this:

And now I'd like to introduce you to my new favorite outfit:

View A: My new favorite outfit

You wouldn't know from this picture, but in real life I don't look so frumpy-dumpy. I actually look really good in this dress!! This is my new favorite outfit, and yes, I realize that it's essentially a really long t-shirt. I haven't branched out THAT much.


Most outfits I love on the internet have all these cute layers and details. Well, now that we're in the frigid depths of Brazilian winter, it got down to 65 degrees and I put on a cardigan.


View B: With cardigan

I thought I'd love it more, but I love it less-- much less.
Is the belt too wide? Is it the ruffles on the cardigan? Is it secret option C?
I don't know.
Maybe it's a good thing there's no such thing as winter in Brazil.



Baby steps

It's easy to write about how I haven't put thought into my clothes for years (29 if you're wondering), but to actually post about my attempts at improvement? Kind of mortifying.


I'd like to write a post that says, "Hey, now that I'm trying, I'm awesome! In fact, I'm pretty much stylin' ALL THE TIME!" But the truth is, it's a journey. And this is just the beginning.


In fact, the beginning is where I've started noticing what people are wearing, and then noticing that-- not only do I not wear the same things-- I don't even own anything cool!


This isn't news, but it IS on my mind these days.


But in the spirit of no shame, here are some pictures of an outfit attempt from this week:

A t-shirt, yes, but it's new, lacy, and not scrubby! Yay!
And the revolutionary part: matching accessories! These are some earrings I bought at Taos Pueblo when my student-teaching class went for a field trip in 2010. I've never worn them since, so it was fun to find something to match.

And the rest of it:

Hmmm.... isn't that the same pair of pants I wear every. single. day?!
But the shoes! They're not flip-flops! They're not boring!
Nor do they really improve the ensemble....

Oh well. A step forward.

And I'll keep stepping!

Traditional Dress of My Native People

I meet a lot of new people, moving around as much as I do, and I can't count the number of times someone has said, "Oh, I've never met anyone from New Mexico." This isn't because I'm bad at math. I'm actually fairly competent (more on this later), but New Mexico is just pretty sparse.

So New Mexico is not known for people, and it's not really known for high fashion, either. In fact, I can't think of a single New Mexican occasion where it would be inappropriate to wear jeans. Graduation? All the time. Fancy restaurant? Of course. Church? Occasionally. Wedding? Well, you'd iron your nice jeans, but still yes.

And we have styles, of course. 

Turquoise and silver jewelry never go out of style. This is an antique Zuni piece from 1940 (link from this page). It might be 75 years old (math!), but it is still fantastic. It makes any outfit more beautiful.

See? New Mexicans have great visual taste-- and incredible artistry!

And unfortunately, this little video represents New Mexico's actual fashion, too:

Keeping it classy in the 505...

Then there's my home.

High in the mountains outside Santa Fe lies an enclave of the extremely intelligent, the extremely well educated, and the extremely fashion-challenged. Just think of The Big Bang Theory, but minus all the coordinated apartment decor, minus the wardrobe variety (Where is the Math Counts t-shirt from 8th grade?), and times about 9,000 laboratory employees. (See? I told you I was good with math!)

What kind of physicists have an area rug and coordinating throw pillows?!

Picture from here

I recently talked to a friend who has moved to another state and gotten married. Now her mother-in-law buys her outfits to wear outside the house, because apparently I'm not the only fashion-challenged export of Los Alamos, New Mexico.

Honestly, I love Los Alamos. I loved growing up in a place where some of my friends were fashionable, cute, and trendy, some of us wore over-sized t-shirts through high school graduation, and it was never the focus of our friendships. It was more about doing things, going places, and learning new ideas and skills. 

So really, I'm learning how to dress myself just so I can have another skill and more knowledge. So..... still nerdy!

Starting point

Yesterday I hosted the international community's playgroup at our house. Usually, I make some (amazing) food, clean the house, and call it good. But this time I dressed up. (Eventually I won't have to tell you when I've dressed up.)

 I really love this skirt. It's from Boston Harbor or Boston Market or something like that. It has pictures of Italian villas all over it, it drapes nicely, and it's stretchy at the waist. I got it at a thrift shop in Virginia.
I know I'm just wearing a black t-shirt with it, but this is after trying on my usual aqua-colored shirt and realizing it's worn scandalously thin and isn't actually the right color anyway. And there's black in the skirt, so it matches, right?

There, this is much more chique. And I'm highlighting my uber-fashionable accessories: my watch inherited from my husband's grandmother (Inherited is cool, right? I actually just like it because it self-winds) and my 天使蛋 "Angel Egg" earrings I bought in China in 2004. They look like golden snitches, except silver and egg-shaped.
And shoes... I didn't wear any-- which was probably a more chique choice than my usual flip-flops.

Smoulder and duck lips-- because it's 2015, baby!

So there's my starting point. While I don't think I look awful, and I am certainly comfortable in my wardrobe, it's nothing to write home about. Which is ironic....

I'm not so chique

One of my favorite Portuguese words is chique (rhymes with sneaky). Fashionable, fancy, cool, stylish. This is not me.
I live in Brazil, and Brazilians are chique. They wear 6" heels to church or a birthday party at the bowling alley. They rock their fashionable maxi dresses, mini dresses, and everything in between.

I, on the other hand, usually dress like this:

At the park

In a crystal shop in Crystalina

At the Jaguar Sanctuary





At William's birthday party

No, I don't usually dress like that. I ALWAYS dress like that.

It's easy to notice several things from these pictures:

A) I accessorize by carrying my son. Who needs handbags? I have children!

B) I really rock those t-shirts.

C) I'm wearing the same pair of capris in three of the four pictures. 

D) In the last one, I'm wearing a pair of cargo capris. How did they make it to this side of 1999?

I love what I wear. I love being comfortable, and when I feel comfortable I am happy. 

But sometimes, now that I'm a grown up, I get invited to brunches. Or my husband brings me to a work shindig. Or I host a playgroup for the children of expat diplomats and company executives. And then suddenly there's no right way to answer, "Well, what t-shirt would go best?"

But here's my problem: I hate shopping. Always have. I don't know what to buy. I can think of a million better ways to spend my time than traipsing through the mall trying on clothes. I can think of a few things I've bought online and been happy with, but I can also think of the rest of the things I've received that hadn't fit, hadn't looked good, or hadn't been the quality I was hoping for. But unfortunately, we're still expected to wear clothes.

So I read about Stitch Fix on my friend's blog. It's an online shopping service. She wrote about it last year, and it piqued my interest, but not enough to do anything about it. Then she wrote about it just last week, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

What is Stitch Fix? It's a (genius) company where you have a personal stylist who chooses 5 things (clothes and accessories) for you to try, based on your sizing and preferences you provide for them. It costs $20 for the "styling fee," and if you decide to keep any of the items, that $20 goes towards the cost of the item(s). If you decide to return anything, you put it in the postage pre-paid bag provided for you and ship it right back. If you decide to keep nothing, you pay the $20 styling fee and move on with your life.

You can sign up for every two weeks, month, two months, or just schedule a "fix" one at a time. It's not like one of those CD companies that used to send you a bunch of CDs you didn't like and then make you buy more every month until you finally begged them to stop. Stitch Fix can be as often or as seldom as you want. I like that.

I love that you have someone choosing clothes for you. It's not totally random, either. They use computers and algorithms to help you get things that you like, based on your preferences and body type. One of the people working at Stitch Fix headquarters worked for Netflix to develop their preference selection system. Netflix's recommendations have been pretty good in my experience, and they have hardly any data to work from. Stitch Fix uses the data of what you buy or return, PLUS all the data of what you tell them in their rather extensive profile questionnaire.

With each item your stylist sends you, they include a card with a couple of outfit ideas for how to wear the item. This is gold. I'm very interested in those. I don't know how to accessorize. I don't know how to pair a shirt with jeans and then dress it up with a skirt. I don't know any of this stuff, so these will be like textbooks for me! (And like shopping lists, if the card ideas include anything but t-shirts and ill-fitting capris.)

I've been reading about Stitch Fix online, both positive and negative reviews. And to be fair, it IS pretty expensive, especially to me. I'm one of those people that hates spending more than $5 on a shirt. I shop at thrift stores and the sales at Target. But I'm trying to take my clothes up a notch, and I'm thinking of this as a good investment. I'd rather have a few nice items that I know I like, I know fit well, and that have someone else's approval that they are muito chique. And to have someone else do all the legwork? Well, you can't put a price tag on that.

So, I've scheduled my first "fix." It should be coming later this month. But since I live overseas and will have to wait for the mail to arrive, it might be more like July. I can hardly wait!

Stitch Fix isn't like scriptures or vaccines. I don't recommend it for everyone. But I've decided to try it out, and I invite you to join me and watch as I attempt a journey to chique.
And should you decide to try Stitch Fix for yourself, here is my shameless request that you use my referral link. Because then I get credit-- which is apparently a good thing.